Autzen

Autzen

Photo courtesy of David Putzier at Flickr.

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Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Duck Stuff: Wednesday Edition

■ We all knew it was coming but Rob Mullens made if official last night, Helfrich was fired. Tyson Alger has the full transcript; Andrew Greif and Rob Moseley also have their story plus John Canzano wonders if Phil knows who he would like to be head coach.

GO DUCKS!

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Duck Stuff: Tuesday Edition

■ Oregon came from behind in the final four minutes to squeak by Boise St. 68-63 last night at Matthew Knight Arena.

■ Tyson Alger says Dylan Thomas' big game was one of the reasons for the win over Boise St. last night.

Now, the Ducks will try and find their rhythm offensively with heavily-favored matchups this week against Western Oregon on Wednesday and Savannah State on Saturday.

GO DUCKS!

Monday, November 28, 2016

Duck Stuff: Monday Edition

■ Rob Mullens will be meeting with Mark Helfrich later this week after returning from a meeting in Dallas to discuss the future of the football program.

■ Tony Brooks-James and Troy Dye were voted the most outstanding offensive and defensive players, respectively, at the annual football awards reception Sunday.

Rob Moseley says the nine game home stand will be a time for the basketball team to gain chemistry.

GO DUCKS!

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Duck Stuff: Sunday Edition

■ The Ducks made it interesting for 3 quarters but couldn't stop the beavtrash in the last fifteen minutes, sigh. No comes the 11 million dollar question, keep Helfrich? Probably not. Game stories below.

Rob Moseley has the game recap and postgame notebook; John Canzano believes Helfrich will be let go; Andrew Greif, Tyson Alger and Chantel Jennings also share their thoughts and Helfrich's chances of remaining the Oregon head coach.

■ Oregon basketball will start a nine game stretch of games in Oregon starting Monday night against Boise St.

GO DUCKS!

Saturday, November 26, 2016

beavtrash Jokes

■ The gift that keeps on giving. These never get old, enjoy!

Q: What's the difference between the beavers and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Two osu football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking an important exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was "fill in the blank" and the last question read, "Old MacDonald had a____." Bubba was stumped -- he had no idea what to answer, but he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the teacher wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny in the shoulder. "Tiny, what's the answer to the last question?"

Tiny laughed, then looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed. He turned to Bubba and said, "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows that Old MacDonald had a FARM."

"Oh yeah," said Bubba, "I remember now." he picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. Then he stopped. Tapping Tiny on the shoulder, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?"

"You are really dumb, Bubba. that's so easy," hissed Tiny, "farm is spelled ‘E-I-E-I-O’."


Q: What has twenty legs and three teeth???
A: The first row at reser stadium


Did you hear the osu library burned down?
The saddest part was that half the books weren't colored in yet.


Q: What do you call a Beav with 1/2 a brain???
A: Gifted


Mike Riley is only dressing 10 players for the osu game against Oregon.
The rest of the team will get dressed by themselves.


 Q: What are the best four years of a beaver grad's life?
A: Third grade


osu Computer Terminology:
Logon -- Makin' the wood stove hotter
Download -- Gettin' the farwood off the truck
Floppy disk -- What you get from carrying too much farwood
Hard Drive -- Gettin' yer pickup home from the bar
Windows -- What to shut when it's cold outside
Chip -- Vittles to eat when yer sitting in front of the TV
Modem -- Whatcha done to the hayfields
Dot Matrix -- Bubba Matrix's wife
Lap top -- Where the kittycat sleeps
Software -- Those dang plastic forks and spoons
Mouse -- The reason you put out the D-Con
Main frame -- The part that holds up the barn roof
Apple - whatcha' eat when you put your teeth in.
Mac - whatcha' eat when your special lady comes over.
Keyboard - where you hang your screwdriver that starts the Datsun.
Cpu - the pretty robot in star wars.
Monitor - that thingy on your ankle the sheriff makes you wear.
Megabyte - your favorite dinner sausage at 7-11

Q: What the difference between the beavs and Cheerios???
A:Cheerios usually end up in a bowl

The recent budget cuts have taken a serious toll at OSU

They have had to cut both drivers education and sexual education courses

When the campus mule died last week, there just wasn't enough money to replace her

Q: Why are there so many unsolved murders in corvallis?
A: There are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA


Q: What do you call a beav with 2 brain cells???
A: Pregnant

If Chuck Norris coached the beavs, he'd roundhouse kick himself in the face.

Q: How do you know the toothbrush was invented at osu?
A: If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

Q: Why are there so many unsolved murders in corvallis?
A: There are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA


Did you hear about the power outage in Corvallis?
30 people were stuck on the escalator for five hours.

What does the average Corvallis high school student get on their SAT?
Drool

Why did they raise the drinking age in Corvallis to 25?
They wanted to keep booze out of the high schools.

What's the most popular pickup line in Corvallis?
Nice tooth.

Did you hear that the President of OSU's mansion burned down over the weekend? Almost took the whole trailer park with it.

Mike Riley passes away, and God rewards him with a house in heaven. Mike doesn't want to be disrespectful, or ungrateful, but can't help but ask why he was given such a small home, but Chip Kelly has the huge mansion on the hill, decked out with everything Ducks...people laughing and having a great time there. God replied," Oh Mike, that's not Chip's house...that's my house."

Why don't OSU football players count sheep to fall asleep at night? They have other plans for their four legged friends.

I've always felt that being a Beaver prepares you for life. You learn not to expect too much.

What do you call a Beaver golfing with an IQ of 120?
A foursome!

What's the biggest lie told in Corvallis?
"I was just helping that sheep over the fence."

Why do Beaver football players only wear Levi 501 jeans?
Zippers make Sheep nervous.

Why is a tornado and a Beaver divorce similar?
You know someone is going to lose a house trailer!

What does a Beaver say to a Duck at MacDonald's?
"Do you want to Supersize that?"

An OSU student walked into a bar in Eugene and ordered two beers. After he paid for the beers he drank one and poured the other one all over his right hand. The bartender was curious to what he was doing so he asked him, and the OSU student replied "I'm trying to get my date drunk."

One day at the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter was greeting new comers. The first man was a brilliant engineer Boston College, so he and St. Peter talked about the great structures and buildings of the world. Next was a mathematician from Harvard, so they talked about the most complex mathmatical problems in the history of civilization. The third guy had an IQ of 78 and a six pack in his right hand and St. Peter says, "How 'bout them Beavs!"

What's orange & black and goes 100 mph?
A Beaver in a blender.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Corvallis?
God couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

How do you make a OSU graduate leave your house?
Pay him for the pizza.

What's black and blue and goes tha-dump, tha-dump, tha-dump?
A Beaver in a dryer.

Why don't they raise chickens in Corvallis?
They plant the eggs too deep.

How do you keep a Beaver out of your front yard?
Put up some goalposts.

Why do OSU graduates put their diploma on the car dashboard?
So they can park in the handicap spots.

Why did OSU decide to put Astro-Turf in Reser Stadium?
To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.

What do you get when you breed a OSU Beaver and a Groundhog?
Six more weeks of bad football.

What does a OSU woman tell her lover when she's done with sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"

Q: What do beavs do on Halloween? A: Pump kin!
Q: Did you hear that the president's osu mansion in Corvallis burned down? A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Q: Why do ducks fly over Corvallis upside down? A: There's nothing worth craping on!
Q. What's the difference between an osu sorority sister and a scarecrow? A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.

GO DUCKS!

Duck Stuff: Saturday Edition

Rob Moseley has the Friday practice report.

■ Gina Mizell says the stakes are high for both teams in today's edition of the Civil War.

GO DUCKS!

Friday, November 25, 2016

Duck Stuff: Friday Edition

The Oregonian has five things to watch for during the Civil War game tomorrow.

■ Justin Herbert is treating the Civil War game like any other game.

■ Mike Robinson takes a closer look at the Civil War game and shares his thoughts.

GO DUCKS!

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Duck Stuff: Thursday Edition

■ Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! Enjoy the day with family and friends!

Rob Moseley has the latest practice report.

Gary Campbell emphasizes the importance of rivalry week.

■ Gina Mizell shares ways to watch, stream or listen to the Civil War on Saturday.

■ Oregon beat Connecticut 79-69 to take the consolation final of the Maui Invitational yesterday.

GO DUCKS!

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Duck Stuff: Wednesday Edition

Rob Moseley has the latest practice report.

John Canzano talked with David Yost on his radio show about the upcoming Civil War game.

Oregon will be wearing green and white uniforms on Saturday.

■ Dillon Brooks made a deep three-pointer in OT to secure the win over Tennessee yesterday 69-65. Ducks will take on Connecticut in the consolation final later today.

GO DUCKS!

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Duck Stuff: Tuesday Edition

Rob Moseley has the latest practice report plus an interview with David Yost and weekly game notes.

■ Sean Meagher previews the Civil War.

■ Tyson Alger shares his talk with John Neal on the status of the coaching status after the Civil War.

■ Running backs coach Gary Campbell is considering retiring.

■ Georgetown beat the Ducks 65-61 despite a late surge yesterday at the Maui Invitational. The Ducks will play Tennessee in the loser's bracket later today.

GO DUCKS!

Monday, November 21, 2016

Duck Stuff: Monday Edition

Andrew Greif takes a sneak peek at the Civil War and then looks at the numbers for both teams.

■ Kyle Bonagura has a helmet stickers for Justin Herbert..

Ken Goe shares his thoughts on the Civil War Saturday.

GO DUCKS!

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Duck Stuff: Sunday Edition

■ Oregon stunned Utah 30-28 yesterday and actually surprised me with solid defense and just enough offense. Game stories below.

Rob Moseley has the game recap along with a postgame notebook; John Canzano wonders if Mark Helfrich just saved his job; the Oregonian has 10 takeaways of the win; Andrew Greif shares his thoughts and Adam Eberhardt has game photos.

GO DUCKS!

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Duck Stuff: Saturday Edition

Rob Moseley has your Friday practice report.

Andrew Greif shares all the ways to watch or stream today's game against Utah.

The basketball team will be competing in the Maui Jim Maui Invitational starting Monday.

■ Tyson Alger shares his top 10 takeaways after the Ducks defeated Valparaiso earlier this week 76-54.

GO DUCKS!

Friday, November 18, 2016

Duck Stuff: Friday Edition

Rob Moseley has the latest practice report plus interviews.

■ Andrew Greif talks about Oregon's porous line defense as they get ready to face Utah.

■ Jonathan Hawthorne shares his Q&A with Troy Dye after practice yesterday.

■ Duck baseball signed 10 players recently for the 2018 season.

GO DUCKS!

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Duck Stuff: Thursday Edition

Rob Moseley has the latest practice report plus interviews.

Devon Allen is foregoing remaining eligibility to pursue a pro track career and Royce Freeman will test the NFL draft waters after two more games.

GO DUCKS!

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Duck Stuff: Wednesday Edition

Rob Moseley has the latest practice report plus weekly game notes.

■ Andrew Greif shares TE Johnny Mundt's future plans.

■ Kylee O'Connor talks about the Ducks motivation, pride.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Duck Stuff: Tuesday Edition

Rob Moseley has your Monday practice report plus interviews.

John Canzano spoke with Pat Kilkenney on Mark Helfrich's job status recently on his radio show.

■ Ken Goe says the matchup this week with Utah is bad news for the Ducks.

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Monday, November 14, 2016

Duck Stuff: Monday Edition

Andrew Greif has a sneak peek at Utah and then shares some of Mark Helfrich's Sunday press conference.

Junior lineman Austin Maloata was dismissed from the team by coach Mark Helfrich following his early Sunday morning arrest near the UO campus.

GO DUCKS!

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Duck Stuff: Sunday Edition

■ Another painful loss, this time to Stanford, 52-27. Don't know about the rest of you but it's getting hard to watch. Game stories below.

Rob Moseley has a game recap plus a postgame notebook; John Canzano minces no word on the future of Duck football and Mark Helfrich; Andrew Greif along with Tyson Alger shares their thoughts plus Adam Eberhardt has photos.

GO DUCKS!

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Duck Stuff: Saturday Edition

Rob Moseley has your Friday practice report.

The Oregonian shares 5 things to watch for in the game today.

Andrew Greif has all the ways to watch/enjoy the game today plus an interview with Justin Herbert.

GO DUCKS!

Friday, November 11, 2016

Duck Stuff: Friday Edition

Rob Moseley has the latest practice report plus interviews with two of the coaches.

Chantel Jennings shares what to watch for in the game tomorrow.

■ Jarrid Denney talks about the Oregon vs Stanford matchup.

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Thursday, November 10, 2016

Duck Stuff: Thursday Edition

Rob Moseley  has the latest practice report plus interviews.

■ Andrew Greif talks about Senior Day at Autzen Stadium on Saturday.

■ Tyson Alger talks about the Ducks being ready for Stanford's rush game.

■ Jonathan Hawthorne has a Q&A with OC Matt Lubick.

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Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Duck Stuff: Wednesday Edition

Rob Moseley has the latest practice report plus interviews and weekly game notes.

■ David Lombardi looks at what has gone wrong for Royce Freeman this year.

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Tuesday, November 08, 2016

Duck Stuff: Tuesday Edition

Rob Moseley has your Monday practice report plus interviews with John Neal and David Yost.

Andrew Greif has a sneak peek at the Stanford game on Saturday.

GO DUCKS!

Monday, November 07, 2016

Duck Stuff: Monday Edition

■ Had a nice break from the posts but I am back after a win against ASU and a beat down by USC. It's going to be a long season.

Tyson Alger comments on Mark Helfrich and his latest weekly press conference yesterday.

Oregon is 3-6 and 1-5 in Pac-12 play following the loss, and now begins preparing to play a Stanford team that has rebounded from a slow start with wins over the last two weeks.

GO DUCKS!