Photo courtesy of David Putzier at Flickr.

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Monday, November 30, 2015

Duck Stuff: Monday Edition

■ Oregon rose three spots to #15 in the AP poll ending the season 9-3.

Stanford’s win helped Oregon’s chance at being selected for a New Year’s Six bowl. Stanford is in line for either a spot in the CFP or a Rose Bowl appearance, so long as it overcomes No. 24 USC in the Pac-12 Championship game. The Ducks jumped three spots up to No. 15 with a 52-42 Civil War victory and losses by now No. 18 Florida, No. 19 Michigan, and No. 22 Navy.

■ Ken Goe says fixing Oregon's defense doesn't mean firing or demoting Don Pellum.


Sunday, November 29, 2015

Duck Stuff: Sunday Edition

■ DeForest Buckner and Royce Freeman were named the MVP of the defense and offense yesterday. Others were honored at the team awards as well.

■ Andrew Greif reports Byron Marshall will not continue his career while Pharaoh Brown says he will return to the team next year.


Saturday, November 28, 2015

Duck Stuff: Saturday Edition

■ It was too close for comfort as Oregon won yesterday 52-42 but it was a win, I'll take it. The defense wasn't on the same page yesterday and still needs to improve before the bowl game. On to the top stories.

■ Rob Moseley has your game recap, talks about the team wanting more and has postgame notebook; postgame interviews with Mark Helfrich, Don Pellum Tyler Johnstone and Rodney Hardrick; John Canzano says both teams have questions to answer before next season; Andrew Greif has a game summary; Tyson Alger talked about the seniors last home game; Hayden Kim looks at Royce Freeman's performance; Kenny Jacoby talks about what could have been; Adam Eberhardt has game photos and ESPN rounds out the coverage.


Friday, November 27, 2015

Duck Stuff: Friday Edition

■ Randy Rasmussen shares his 5 things to watch during the Civil War later today. (my addition - how many points will Ducks score?)

Andrew Greif takes a sneak peek at the game today.

Annual beav trash jokes on an earlier post.

■ My prediction: Oregon 64 - beav trash 13


Beaver Jokes

■ The gift that keeps on giving. These never get old, enjoy!

Q: What's the difference between the beavers and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Two osu football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking an important exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was "fill in the blank" and the last question read, "Old MacDonald had a____." Bubba was stumped -- he had no idea what to answer, but he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the teacher wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny in the shoulder. "Tiny, what's the answer to the last question?"

Tiny laughed, then looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed. He turned to Bubba and said, "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows that Old MacDonald had a FARM."

"Oh yeah," said Bubba, "I remember now." he picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. Then he stopped. Tapping Tiny on the shoulder, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?"

"You are really dumb, Bubba. that's so easy," hissed Tiny, "farm is spelled ‘E-I-E-I-O’."

Q: What has twenty legs and three teeth???
A: The first row at reser stadium

Did you hear the osu library burned down?
The saddest part was that half the books weren't colored in yet.

Q: What do you call a Beav with 1/2 a brain???
A: Gifted

Mike Riley is only dressing 10 players for the osu game against Oregon.
The rest of the team will get dressed by themselves.

 Q: What are the best four years of a beaver grad's life?
A: Third grade

osu Computer Terminology:
Logon -- Makin' the wood stove hotter
Download -- Gettin' the farwood off the truck
Floppy disk -- What you get from carrying too much farwood
Hard Drive -- Gettin' yer pickup home from the bar
Windows -- What to shut when it's cold outside
Chip -- Vittles to eat when yer sitting in front of the TV
Modem -- Whatcha done to the hayfields
Dot Matrix -- Bubba Matrix's wife
Lap top -- Where the kittycat sleeps
Software -- Those dang plastic forks and spoons
Mouse -- The reason you put out the D-Con
Main frame -- The part that holds up the barn roof
Apple - whatcha' eat when you put your teeth in.
Mac - whatcha' eat when your special lady comes over.
Keyboard - where you hang your screwdriver that starts the Datsun.
Cpu - the pretty robot in star wars.
Monitor - that thingy on your ankle the sheriff makes you wear.
Megabyte - your favorite dinner sausage at 7-11

Q: What the difference between the beavs and Cheerios???
A:Cheerios usually end up in a bowl

The recent budget cuts have taken a serious toll at OSU

They have had to cut both drivers education and sexual education courses

When the campus mule died last week, there just wasn't enough money to replace her

Q: Why are there so many unsolved murders in corvallis?
A: There are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA

Q: What do you call a beav with 2 brain cells???
A: Pregnant

If Chuck Norris coached the beavs, he'd roundhouse kick himself in the face.

Q: How do you know the toothbrush was invented at osu?
A: If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

Q: Why are there so many unsolved murders in corvallis?
A: There are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA

Did you hear about the power outage in Corvallis?
30 people were stuck on the escalator for five hours.

What does the average Corvallis high school student get on their SAT?

Why did they raise the drinking age in Corvallis to 25?
They wanted to keep booze out of the high schools.

What's the most popular pickup line in Corvallis?
Nice tooth.

Did you hear that the President of OSU's mansion burned down over the weekend? Almost took the whole trailer park with it.

Mike Riley passes away, and God rewards him with a house in heaven. Mike doesn't want to be disrespectful, or ungrateful, but can't help but ask why he was given such a small home, but Chip Kelly has the huge mansion on the hill, decked out with everything Ducks...people laughing and having a great time there. God replied," Oh Mike, that's not Chip's house...that's my house."

Why don't OSU football players count sheep to fall asleep at night? They have other plans for their four legged friends.

I've always felt that being a Beaver prepares you for life. You learn not to expect too much.

What do you call a Beaver golfing with an IQ of 120?
A foursome!

What's the biggest lie told in Corvallis?
"I was just helping that sheep over the fence."

Why do Beaver football players only wear Levi 501 jeans?
Zippers make Sheep nervous.

Why is a tornado and a Beaver divorce similar?
You know someone is going to lose a house trailer!

What does a Beaver say to a Duck at MacDonald's?
"Do you want to Supersize that?"

An OSU student walked into a bar in Eugene and ordered two beers. After he paid for the beers he drank one and poured the other one all over his right hand. The bartender was curious to what he was doing so he asked him, and the OSU student replied "I'm trying to get my date drunk."

One day at the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter was greeting new comers. The first man was a brilliant engineer Boston College, so he and St. Peter talked about the great structures and buildings of the world. Next was a mathematician from Harvard, so they talked about the most complex mathmatical problems in the history of civilization. The third guy had an IQ of 78 and a six pack in his right hand and St. Peter says, "How 'bout them Beavs!"

What's orange & black and goes 100 mph?
A Beaver in a blender.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Corvallis?
God couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

How do you make a OSU graduate leave your house?
Pay him for the pizza.

What's black and blue and goes tha-dump, tha-dump, tha-dump?
A Beaver in a dryer.

Why don't they raise chickens in Corvallis?
They plant the eggs too deep.

How do you keep a Beaver out of your front yard?
Put up some goalposts.

Why do OSU graduates put their diploma on the car dashboard?
So they can park in the handicap spots.

Why did OSU decide to put Astro-Turf in Reser Stadium?
To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.

What do you get when you breed a OSU Beaver and a Groundhog?
Six more weeks of bad football.

What does a OSU woman tell her lover when she's done with sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"

Q: What do beavs do on Halloween? A: Pump kin!
Q: Did you hear that the president's osu mansion in Corvallis burned down? A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Q: Why do ducks fly over Corvallis upside down? A: There's nothing worth craping on!
Q. What's the difference between an osu sorority sister and a scarecrow? A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.


Monday, November 23, 2015

Duck Stuff: Monday Edition

Kevin Gemmell has a helmet sticker for Vernon Adams and moves them up to #2 in the Pac-12 power rankings.

When you have more passing touchdowns than incompletions, you're doing something right. Adams tossed six touchdowns, completing 20 of 25 passes for 407 yards with one pick in the Ducks 48-28 win over the USC Trojans.

Oregon moved up five spots to #18 in the latest AP poll.

■ Don Pellum talked to the media after the USC win.

Andrew Greif says Oregon is positioning themselves for a better shot at a major bowl game.

■ Oregon opens as 30 point favorites in the 119th Civil War on Friday according to Vegas.

■ Ken Goe says the Civil War will be as lopsided as Oregon wants it to be.

Oregon and Oregon State beav trash meet in the Civil War on Friday. If you like competitive college football, this isn't your game.

These are two teams headed in dramatically different directions...I can't see how the Civil War will be anything but an UO romp...


Monday, November 16, 2015

Duck Stuff: Monday Edition

Chantel Jennings has a helmet sticker for Joe Walker.

The senior tallied 10 tackles for the Ducks in their 38-36 win over No. 7 Stanford, but it was his break up on the Cardinal's two-point conversion attempt that puts him on this list. If he’s not there to make that play Stanford ties it up and the game heads into overtime. But he made an athletic play and batted down the ball, sealing the game for the Ducks.

Oregon returned to the AP rankings at #23 after beating Stanford.

Rob Moseley and Andrew Greif preview the against USC on Saturday.

Mark Helfrich talked with the media after the Stanford game on Saturday.

The game time has been set for the matchup with USC at Autzen Stadium. It will bea 12:30 kickoff and broadcast on ESPN.


Sunday, November 15, 2015

Duck Stuff: Sunday Edition

■ Wow, what a game as Oregon chops down the tree 38-36. Great plays and enough offensive plays and defense to make a huge statement. So exciting. Here are the top stories.

Rob Moseley has his game recap, talks about the defense and has a postgame notebook; Andrew Greif talks about the game and shares an interview with Vernon Adams after the game; John Canzano talks about a determined Duck mindset; Christopher Keizur says the running backs made the difference; Cole Elsasser shares game photos and ESPN rounds out the coverage.


Monday, November 09, 2015

Duck Stuff: Monday Edition

■ Rob Moseley previews the  Stanford game and looks back at the Cal game.

After rushing 29 times for 180 yards against the Golden Bears, Royce Freeman leads the nation with 44 rushes of 10 yards or more. He’s second in total plays from scrimmage of 10 yards or more with 54, one less than TCU receiver Josh Doctson.

Molly Blue has two postgame interviews with Mark Helfrich and Royce Freeman.


Sunday, November 08, 2015

Duck Stuff: Sunday Edition

■ It was nice to watch the Ducks roll over Cal 44-28 but things are going to be tougher next week in Palo Alto. We won't be able to settle for field goals when we are in the red-zone. Hopefully they can get things fixed.

Rob Moseley has a game summary, talked about the defense, comments on the O-line and has a postgame notebook; Andrew Greif breaks down the game and has player interviewsTyson Alger says the O-line played mean after earlier Cal comments; John Canzano liked the win but wonders if they can be "trusted"; Cole Elsasser has game photos and ESPN rounds out the coverage.


Monday, November 02, 2015

Duck Stuff: Monday Edition

Rob Moseley talks about Oregon's win streak and comments on the teleconference Mark Helfrich had yesterday.

The wizardry of quarterback Vernon Adams Jr. has been the difference in road victories over the last three weeks at Washington and ASU. Now the Ducks will try to build off that success, and find some consistency in other elements of the game.

“We’ll find out tomorrow,” UO coach Mark Helfrich said Sunday, when asked about the impact of the win streak. “… But certainly you want that to create confidence.”

■ Andrew Greif says Oregon and Cal are on different trajectories.


Sunday, November 01, 2015

Duck Stuff: Sunday Edition

■ Sorry about the late post but it was a slow news day yesterday as we await the Cal game next Saturday.

■ Kevin Gemmell has a helmet sticker for Vernon Adams for his performance against ASU.

In perhaps the craziest game of the Pac-12 season, a 61-55 win at Arizona State, Adams made some of the craziest plays. He finished 23-of-40 for 315 yards with four touchdowns and an interception. Two of his touchdowns came in overtime and a third was at the end of regulation ... after breaking two tackles ... throwing off his back foot ... to a pair of Ducks who collided in the end zone.