Photo courtesy of David Putzier at Flickr.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Beaver Jokes

Not to be outdone by Dave over at his blog, here are some more Beaver jokes. These came from our good friends at the Washington blog but have been edited by me. Enjoy!


I've always felt that being a Beaver prepares you for life. You learn not to expect too much.

Why is a tornado and a Beaver divorce similar?
You know someone is going to lose a house trailer!

What does a Beaver say to a Duck at MacDonald's?
"Do you want to Supersize that?"

A OSU student walked into a bar in Eugene and ordered two beers. After he paid for the beers he drank one and poured the other one all over his right hand. The bartender was curious to what he was doing so he asked him, and the OSU student replied "I'm trying to get my date drunk."

One day at the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter was greeting new comers. The first man was a brilliant engineer Boston College, so he and St. Peter talked about the great structures and buildings of the world. Next was a mathematician from Harvard, so they talked about the most complex mathmatical problems in the history of civilization. The third guy had an IQ of 78 and a six pack in his right hand and St. Peter says, "How 'bout them Beavs!"

What's orange & black and goes 100 mph?
A Beaver in a blender.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Corvallis?
God couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

How do you make a OSU graduate leave your house?
Pay him for the pizza.

What's black and blue and goes tha-dump, tha-dump, tha-dump?
A Beaver in a dryer.

Why don't they raise chickens in Corvallis?
They plant the eggs too deep.

How do you keep a Beaver out of your front yard?
Put up some goalposts.

Why do OSU graduates put their diploma on the car dashboard?
So they can park in the handicap spots.

Why did OSU decide to put Astro-Turf in Reser Stadium?
To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.

What do you get when you breed a OSU Beaver and a Groundhog?
Six more weeks of bad football.

What does a OSU woman tell her lover when she's done with sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

How did that work out for you last year buttplug?

brooke said...

HAHA gotta love OUR ducks!! :)

Jeannine Wood said...

I love it!!!!!!!!!!! My friend charles is a beaver lover .... I just sent these to him!!! Thanks for the laughs!!!!